Arrested development

I’m sure that everyone who has ever had children has at some point thought to themselves, “Wow, kids are sure different these days.”

Case in point: They don’t seem to be as eager to be able to drive a car. My daughter is nearing 17, and still does not have her license. My son has been 15 for nearly two months, and has barely cracked the driver’s manual that he’ll need to learn to get his learner’s permit. I took him practice-driving once in a school parking lot, and I am still recovering from an acute case of whiplash.

I got my driver's license the day I turned 16, which was necessary, because I began working my first job the next day. I equated driving with being grown up, and freedom, and infinitely improving my odds of impressing someone of the female persuasion. Never mind that my car had no air condition, no power steering, and only a crackling AM radio. It wasn’t just a car, it was independence.

You had to have a car as a teenager when I was coming up, because the number one activity was riding around. The number two activity was parking, but you needed that member of the female persuasion for that one to be any fun. Not that I ever did such a thing (my kids read this).

After school, Friday nights, Sunday afternoons, riding around is what you did. You’d ride around with a buddy or two in the car, and hopefully you’d run into some other friends who were out riding around, and then you’d pull over and talk, and then ride around some more.

If you were lucky, you ran into some girls who were also out riding around, and if there was one you liked, you’d try to convince your buddies to walk home so you could get the girl to get in your car. Then you’d go park. General rule: If the car was moving, it was more fun to have your friends in it. If it wasn’t moving, then you preferred a girl.

Again, I’m talking about for other guys. I spent most of my time in Bible study or down at the Amish mission, preparing meals for the needy. When I wasn’t home studying, that is.

I suppose I should be in no hurry for my kids to drive. I doubt a parent ever has one peaceful moment while their child is out driving a car somewhere, and they don’t know where they are. I won’t miss leaving the house at midnight on a Friday night to go pick them up after a high school football game, but I doubt I’ll be resting easy when they’re driving home.

And I will have one advantage my parents didn’t have. I saw an ad on TV the other day about a GPS locator you put on your kids’ car. This is a great idea. Assuming they ever actually drive one.