Guilty pleasures

I went for one of my long training runs yesterday, and it was pretty ugly (two words: chafed thighs).

I ran the whole way listening to my iPod, and I realized that I need to arrange my playlists so I can only listen to music that’s suitable for running. As it is, I put it on shuffle, which means it picks songs at random.

That’s fine as long as the song is something upbeat, like “Cadillac Ranch” or “Walk of Life” or “Rip This Joint,” something that gets your blood pumping and your heart racing. But then it will select something along the lines of “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” or “Sing Me Back Home,” and it doesn’t fit the mood. It’s hard to run when you just want to sit down somewhere and cry.

I don’t think I could even run now without my iPod, because I’ve gotten so used to it. And I have to admit, I was dragged kicking and screaming into the iPod generation. Hell, I was dragged kicking and screaming into the compact disc generation, many years ago. I still have about 500 albums in my bonus room, collecting dust. I’m not a guy who likes change.

But I finally got an iPod, and after my teenagers showed me how to use it, then made faces at the songs I put on there (I’m not ashamed to like Simon and Garfunkel), I was ready to go.

I have some guilty pleasure songs on there that I should probably be more embarrassed about than Simon and Garfunkel. I was cutting the grass with the iPod on the other day when one such song came on, “Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes.”

I can’t describe or explain how much I like this song, or why, but I just do. It’s one of those things you can’t put into words, like how much Coldplay sucks. Every time I hear that song, my spirits lift and I wish I was somewhere doing a karaoke version.

“Rosemary” was recorded by Edison Lighthouse, which wasn’t even a band, just a studio session singer and some backing musicians. It was written by the same guy who wrote “Up, Up and Away In My Beautiful Balloon,” which is hard to believe, because that song really sucks.

But that happens a lot in music. The person who wrote “Take Me Home, Country Roads” also wrote “Afternoon Delight.” The guy who wrote “Wichita Lineman” also wrote “MacArthur Park.” The brothers Gibb wrote “To Love Somebody,” which is great, and “How Deep is Your Love,” which is not.

Back to the iPod. It has other uses, as well. The other day, I drove the kids and one of their friends to school, and all three teenagers had their iPods in their ears and were silent as mimes the whole way. It was quite nice.

And it can be a useful noise-blocker. You can come in the house with it on and if it looks like your wife is complaining about something or giving you something to do, just point to the earphones and shrug your shoulders. I tried this the other day and it almost worked, but I had my back to her, and as I was pretending not to hear her she said something about supper, and I turned around, and I was busted. She knew I’d heard the magic word.

But I played it cool. I just kept on going, and let Edison Lighthouse take me away. I’m a lucky fella, and I just gotta tell her…..