I’ve rediscovered something in my life that has been missing for a while, and I’m glad to have it back.
No, I’m not talking about exercise or motivation or hair that’s not grey. I’m talking about potted meat.
When I was younger, I loved potted meat. It was one of my favorite snacks. Give me a little can of potted meat and some saltine crackers (which we used to call soda crackers) and a Coke to wash it down and I could make a meal out of it.
The uninformed will often look at potted meat and just go, “Ewwwwww!” This is what everyone in my house feels compelled to do every single time I sit down to enjoy my processed meat delight. But as caviar is more than just fish eggs, and escargot is more than just snails, potted meat is more than just some congealed meat by-product.
What is potted meat? Well, I’m not exactly sure, and I don’t think I want to know, and I don’t really care. It’s meat, and it’s potted, and I like it. ’Nough said.
There are some cousins to potted meat, but I don’t really like those. Vienna sausage are packed in some sort of toe jelly that keeps me away. Starbucks coffee smells like Vienna sausage to me, therefore I don’t drink it. Spam is kind of a dressed-up version of potted meat, but I don’t enjoy it. And deviled ham? Please. Don’t insult me.
My grandmother used to serve fried tripe. I didn’t even like the sound of that, and I liked the taste even less. Apparently it comes from an animal’s stomach. I don’t know why that’s any grosser than eating an animal’s butt, which we do all the time, but somehow it is.
At some point, I decided that potted meat had too much fat (true) and too many calories (true) and too much sodium (true) and no nutritional value (debatable), so I should take it out of my diet. But all the while I continued to eat other unhealthy things, so it didn’t make much difference. Plus it’s a little bitty can, how bad for you can it be?
Since the doctor made me stop drinking beer, I figure popping open a can of potted meat every now and then is not such a bad thing. And you won’t get a ticket for driving after eating too much potted meat, though it might not be a fun ride for the other people in the car.
If you haven’t experienced the joys of potted meat, I suggest you go to your local grocery store, get a couple of cans (make sure it’s Libby’s – the other brands aren’t as good), get some soda crackers, pop the tin top off the can and commence to eating. You’ll thank me, even if your cholesterol doesn’t.
2 comments:
Glad to see you writing again! (And I don't use many exclamation points.
Now, as to the subject at hand ...
Damn I like a good potted meat sandwich. Just dry white bread and potted meat slathered over it evenly. Evenly is important.
Crackers and potted meat always repelled me for some reason, though I can eat a pack of dry crackers in about two minutes.
I am married to a vegetarian and she pushes our daughter toward healthier foods. I am the yang in this scenario. I introduced Junior to vienna sausages, which she now swears is her favorite food.
She knocks out a can in the time it takes my wife to unwrap a package of Facon or soy crap. If we stop in the convenience store on the way home my kid goes to the back aisle and nabs a can of Viennas.
I like them on occasion. Just wash the toe jam out vigorously and scarf away.
Man, it's hard to believe you and I have health problems.
Damn I love the excuse to try a food I've never tried because I see someone blogging about it. I think I will check this out.
Kind of the same way, when I see Adam Richman on travel channel's Man vs. Food eat a bunch of delicious food in a restaurant that's in my county, I absolutely have to just drive down there to check it out even if it's 50 miles away and the place is merely a bakery.
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