Playing catch

My son is 15 years old and he asks me to go outside and throw the baseball with him almost every day.

I’m afraid to say no because if I do, next thing I know I’ll turn around and I’ll be living out Harry Chapin’s Cat’s in the Cradle, and he won’t even feel obligated to come visit me in the nursing home.

So I trudge out there, glove in hand, with my aching right shoulder and gallstones (that nursing home isn’t as far off as I once thought) and I throw with him. He’s about as tall as I am now and he tries to burn one in every now and then, but I just catch it nonchalantly and throw it back, pretending it doesn’t hurt. You can’t show weakness.

He’s a pitcher on his high school junior varsity team. I’m trying to teach him to throw a curveball, which would be easier if I could throw one that broke more than the length of my pinky finger. Well, that’s why I was always an outfielder.

We started throwing the ball in the front yard when he was very little. That’s really the main reason men want to have sons, is to have somebody to play ball with. In the old days, you had sons because you wanted somebody to help you plow the fields, or to carry on the family name. Now you just hope they don’t wreck your car or make you a grandpa at an early age.

I’ve thrown the ball a few times with my daughter, but that stopped once she discovered it messed up her fingernail polish. Plus, it’s different with a girl. They get offended if you call them “moron” or “lazy-ass” or “idiot.” Sons understand that comes with the territory.

With daughters, you play other games, like “Let’s see how much money we can make disappear from dad’s wallet,”, and “Guess how much these shoes cost?”

I don’t know that any of us with children has parenting figured out. You can do everything right, or at least what you think is right, and they still turn out wrong. But it’s gotta help your percentages if you’re there for them and do things with them.

A large part of parenting is just being there. You don’t have to give them everything they want, or keep them from ever being disappointed, or shield them from any failure. Just let them know you’re there if they need you – but never let them know where your bank accounts are. You know, just in case.