I hereby resolve to....

Christmas Day has come and gone. As Steve Goodman once sang, broken toys and faded colors are all that’s left to linger on.

That and the 5 pounds or so I’ve put on in the past two weeks.

The period between Christmas and New Year’s is a strange time. There’s something of a letdown, but you’re still in holiday mode. I’m not going back to work until January 2, but I don’t have any idea what to do with all of the free time between now and then.

I suppose I could start working on losing some of that extra holiday weight, but come on. Everybody knows that you don’t begin any sort of weight-loss program or self-improvement project until January 2. That’s the first official day of New Year’s resolution-following. Maybe technically you’re supposed to begin on New Year’s Day itself, but don’t be ridiculous. There are football games on ALL DAY.

I make resolutions every year, and I swear it’s with good intentions. I do the usual ones – I need to exercise more, write more, lose weight, read more, pretend to like people more, kiss more behinds at work so I can get a minimal promotion and move into an even more soul-killing job.

A lot of people make similar resolutions. Have you ever been in a gym the first two weeks of the year? It’s amateur hour in there. You have to stand in line to use the equipment because there are so many people who have gotten religion and decided to start working out. But by the time MLK Day rolls around, it’s back to normal.

Some years I just make one resolution, but I make it a big one, and I try to make sure I achieve it. One year it was to run a marathon; another year, it was to finally finish my novel. Another time, it was to start a band.

I don’t want to run another marathon, and I certainly don’t want the headache of having a band again. So maybe I will write another novel. Or perhaps a screenplay. How hard can that be? Have you seen a movie lately? There’s not a lot of effort going into those screenplays. It took about, what, 20 years to make that last Indiana Jones movie, and it was terrible.

Maybe I should make a more realistic resolution, like finally getting my torn rotator cuff repaired. But that’s hardly something to look forward to. And it’s not really an accomplishment. And I flat-out don’t want to do it. It only hurts about 75 percent of the time, anyway. I can take it. What am I, a wimp?

Well, whatever I decide to resolve, I promise I will do my best to live up to my pledges. And I absolutely am going to start eating better and getting some weight off me. Later, I mean. Right now, some pecan pie is calling me from the kitchen.